*theories*
june14th,2:45am>i have no idea what i am feeling right now. feel like crying though.
hey numbie...no worries about the phone incident thingee. sleep tight.
*say shut up*
june13th,2:49am>everytime i shoot my mouth off about people i don't even know, i'm gonna feel fucked up in a way. i mean...what gave me the right to spit assumptions about people just because they walk funny or how ugly their clothes are? and i'm supposed to be all about "not-having-any-judgemental-views-about- anything-until-i-really-know-what's-it's-all-about" kind of guy. fuck me. i am no better than the rest. i am so close minded. it's me back being in square one all over again. where the fuck am i going? where the fuck do you think am i going? and when i scream, what gave me the right to think that you are ever gonna listen? i keep putting myself up on the stand each and every fucking single day. do you fucking hear me? i may not know where you came from but i bleed as much as you every single fucking minute! are you fucking listening to me? have i gotten your attention yet? everything seems like nothing anymore and i'm gone out the fucking window. i am so out of their league. where do i stand with you anyfuckinway?
*backache*
june13th,1:37am>spent the whole day with my baby. i put in extra effort today cos we met up in the morning which was really not much of a big deal but damn it...i woke up early! hahaha. sunshine bought her camera along but we didn't take much pictures although we did take some of this really cute lil cat who was lost at orchard mrt. but that happened at the end of the day...so..yeah. we watched shrek today which was completly hilarous. so please go and watch it...kay?kay. something freaky happened again and this is like the second time. it's funny in some ways and sometimes we wonder why we get freaked out everytime when we're together but then again we wouldn't want it any other way.
okay...my handphone is beyond unrepairable so i'm kind of using the old one..you know? the big alcatel? yep. so call me. i dare ya.
*cease fire...breathe*
june12th,2:31am>
we're the victims of the common prose
the common language
that we thought that made no sense
according to the walls that we crash into
every single time
we make noises like them and we have nothing to show
this is all so alien to me
i break my back you break yours and we'll disappear
when all they can do is keep tightening the little noose
that hangs upon their collars
i can hear them breathing down my neck
i can hear them breathing down my neck
and i hope they choke when they breathe
and i hope they fall everytime they try
when all we should be doing is to cease
fire
fire that fuels the movement
fire that destroys the yard
take back the minute
take back the hour
take back the fire
take back the fire
-dyfectra
*snapcase*
june12th,12:48am>i'm having a party in my room. fucking it up with snapcase and some cheetos plus mineral water. i am feeling so aggressive right now i might just kill myself. but it's all good,you know?uh huh.
beatnik and company are back from their little adventure in kiwiland and he got me a "reggie and full effect" sticker. that was really nice of him but then again, numbness got a tee shirt. hahah! damn. (damn it. snapcase rocks,man.) spent the first half of the day with sunshine and the girls and respective boyfriends from virgin violets minus the presence of kellynumb and good ol' fug. had snapple at spinellis. going out with sunshine again later in the afternoon. i'm so pissed with myself cos i can't put that smile on her face. what the fuck is wrong with me?
i spent the rest of the evening with the rest of the guys at taman serasi. i feel like getting drunk again.
good night sleepless in singapore. now go away.
*oh what a drag*
june11th,12:28am>Work is getting to be such a drag now. Spent the evening with hafizd and riduan and we had "flaming cheetos". It tastes kinda weird but really yummy so i don't really have any complaints. I'm wondering whether if the sunset boys are back in singapore yet. They should be back by now but still i have no idea. Other than that, today was pretty uneventful but i'm looking forward to tomorrow. Surprise me why don't ya? and oh by the way, can you guys see the pic on the top page?cos i can't see it. or maybe...wait...just maybe....i'm just dumb.
*fill these eyes with candle wax*
june10th,1:32am> had a really good practice session with dyfectra just now. i'm really happy with the direction we're taking and in all the 9 years that this band has been in existence, i believe this is the first time that i'm real happy with the stuff that we're bringing to the table. it's great.
i spent the first half of the day chilling out with the experience and i guess we had fun. went over to marine parade community club to check out some nu-metal show. it was hilarous so we went off after two bands or something and grabbed a bite with the guys from drug plant patient. hashish was there too but he didn't come along when we wanted to eat. and hashish, if you're reading this, i'm sorry i had to leave early,bro. i just didn't see the point in staying anyway and besides i had practice and if i knew you better i'd say that you were to busy laughing at all those "stupid monkeys" and my goodness, there were plenty! hahaa.
i bought two new books and three new cds in a span of two days. yay!
*astrology*
june8th,3:47am>i got this from a link from numbness webpage. it says how compatible you are with your partner and i decided to try it out with my baby and me. this is what it said..."A Gemini man has the ability to remain
eternally youthful, enticing the Scorpio
female into wondering what makes him
gravitate on the emotional spectrum.
He is a maze of contradictions, but the
Scorpio can conquer them all. She will
have to understand that a Gemini man
comprehends love as an eternal,
searing passion, quite like her. The
typical Gemini man has to be careful,
because his roving eye will find the
female eagle sedate, as she is
monogamous by nature. He has to be
careful, because his attempt at a light
romance will not find favour with the
Scorpio woman. This will lead to
jealousy, and Scorpio jealousy is
all-consuming. The Gemini man will fail
to comprehend such jealousy, but he
will do well to fall in line. There is a
strong degree of sexual vibration
between the two signs. He may exude
tons of attitude, charm, masculinity,
intelligence and romance, but he does
not ordinarily exude excessive
sexuality to anyone but a Scorpio. He
usually holds a dark secret, and he
must pry deep into her mesmerising
eyes to make her open up. He may
tend to criticize and analyze her, since
she's so full of silent intrigue. Scorpio
does not take kindly to criticism, and
his probing will make her retreat into
sullen silence. This man and woman
reach out to one another, but will not
hear the same noises. If they would
stop long enough to hear one
another's secret cries, they might soar
high enough together to see
everything from a different
perspective, including their
relationship." gee....wow.
*baby baby baby*
june8th,2:07am>the wheather is all awesome again. unfall has graduated and i'm so proud of him. i miss my baby so much it hurts.
*misfits*
june6th,2:03pm>will be working later in 4 hours so that will be a drag. when the fuck am i gonna get a better part time job,man? shit.hashish got the marks he needed to graduate so that's cool. i'm sure he's happy and can't wait to start work.
the whether is awesome. i'm wishing it can be like this everyday. i'm nursing a zit that's growing on me nose again. hehe. i decided to call it sparco and don't ask me why.oh shut up. i'm weird....so fucking what?xoxoxo
*handbook*
june6th,2:59am>
i get bored with these days that has balance
it wipes us out onto these little cracks
we see something in our faces that disappoints the kings and the queens
of ignorance
we all know we smoke too much and love too little
too little to even know that it's there can't see it can't touch it
i miss the kisses in your speech
why make enemies with bullets?
why make em at all?
be in love with the days that makes us lose our breath
be in love with the days that tries to break us
we can only know how much if only there are marks on our faces
let them speak our names for they know that we exist
fall in love with imperfection for the opposite will just equal to
nothing
a typical day will be them against us
kick the doors
go ahead
kick em hard for that's the only way
have strength and faith in the eyes of those who doubt you
for everytime you prove that everytime you will not break
will only make you stronger
*inside turn*
june6th,2:30am>can't sleep but i know i can, if i try. i guess the right word to use is well....whatever...i forgot.
sometimes i think that people talk way too much on stuff they don't fully understand about. it gets irritating sometimes but hell, everybody is doing it. i heard that from somewhere that people should really just keep their mouth shut until they can really understand this whole idea in communicating. i guess some individuals out there are totally abusing the whole thing. i have a mouth so i'm just gonna go and use it when and where i like. whatever. i'm trying to talk less now cos to me it's the right thing to do. each time i open my mouth to say something totally unimportant, i'm just gonna feel so wasted. i don't know but have you ever got that feeling before? like damn it..i should have just kept my mouth shut cos nothing's gonna change anyway. but then again, how you gonna know if you didn't try,right? oh well. jimmy eat world is playing on my discman. i should really change the cd cos it's been playing continuosly for well...a long time now. okay. stop. i'm looking through my cd wallet and feelin kinda radioheadish so that is what i'll do. man...i think i need a ciggy to soothe my souls. ha! that's what i think anyway.
later will be another day and i'll be working. my baby's gonna go out with a couple of her old friends, i think, so i'm sure she's gonna have fun. sigh. there's nothing like radiohead huh? i heard the sunset boys are having way too much fun over in new zealand. nice to hear. hope they come back safe and sound and full of real good travelling stories. love you guys much much.xoxoxo
*as good as it gets*
june6th,1:39am>spent yet another excellent day with my baby. went down to sungei road to check out some stuff. they were selling all kind of weird shit. we had ice cream while browsing. we wanna go there again next week but this time we'll be ready with cash! yay! went down to beach road and bought size four slippers cos my baby wanna hang it on her bag. had a good sitting down+smoking ciggy session while having ice lemon tea. the person who i bought the drinks from thought i wanted baron in a can. oh well. and to end a perfect day,we went down to merlion park and had one of the most interesting conversations ever. it was a blast. my god. it was awesome.
this nice person came over and signed my guestbook and she has a real nice webpage up. simple but nice. go and check it out. it's under my links section under leah. later. xoxoxo
*low*
june5th,1:41am>haha. i am listening to the best of testament and it's so nostalgic. their music is bringing back a lot of memories. hahaa. my god. i remembered one day a long time ago i was sitting down with dyfectra and telling them that we should sound like them cos my gosh, they are awesome. and i still think that they are one of the best bands out there. well anyway..i feel like talking and typing stuff but have no idea what to write. everything in my life is looking up, i guess. i'm in love with a girl and she's in love with me. i spent the day with her doing nothing but talk and having these intense conversations on life. it's fun. i have wonderful friends and some of em are in new zealand rocking out at parties. sometimes i have no idea what i am complaining about. ooohh...i bought this biohazard live album that looked like it was bootlegged from gramaphone. but sunshine said that gramaphone don't sell bootlegged shit so well,i don't know. have no idea why i bought that anyway when a perfectly good throwing muses cd was staring at my face. oh fuckin well. sometimes i figure that there's way too much hardcore in my blood. hahahaha. so how are you guys doing today? feel better? xoxoxo
*assumption*
june5th,1:36am>i think everybody is gonna eat themselves up with everything that they've assumed about the individuals that they think that they care about. they think that they care when all they do are just going for the ride. they don't really give a fuck anyway. that's what i think. but i do think they try to be nice as they can be cos it's just morally correct. they just tolerate each other when all they wanna do is just to be left alone.
*eidotdeeni*
4thjune,2:12am>the only silence i hear right now is the voices that seperates walls from the air and when shall i not know you for who i am bring it down it can do us no good.
*how new is zealand*
june4th,12:47am>i miss beatnik. yes, i do. wish he would come back all safe and sound.
i am currently listening to force vomit's "the furniture goes up." i am feeling local tonight so maybe later i might as well play the lchc compilation thingee. wow. so old skool. sheesh.
my handphone is down and i'm feeling naked without it. have no idea what fucked up but i guess it's okay. oh well.
i want to be in new zealand.
*nine point zero*
2ndjune,5:37am>i just got home from supper with hashish about twenty minutes ago and right now i'm listening to deftones covering a song by weezer. excellent. had a short talk with marigold when he came down to borders. it was really nice to see him and all. okay. so later i will have to wake up cos i really wanna hang out with numbness and derby. will be having jamming with dyfectra,too so that will be a blast!
hey kellynumb...this is for you. i added two more poems(or whatever you wanna call it) to endshift. it's nothing much but hope you'll like it anyway. GO!
*fold*
1stjune,2:18am>
what do you talk about when
you are around to know
that you are not there
she makes me want to bleed
she makes me lose this tune
uhm...how does it go
again how does it go
again
can you stop losing out to the weather
that makes no noise
but
have faith in you and you will have faith again
like before
and now and
now
that is the word for us now
now
but still hush likes to silence itself
to
sleep to sleep
i shut myself out and walk and crawl
and walk
to the nearest you
hold a kiss for me
i'll
be
coming
around
*jimmy eat dumb world*
june1st,1:58am>do you have the feeling that the world is just getting dumber? well, do you? i mean, i know i'm not getting smarter, that i know. but damn it, why are people so dumb and cruel and full of shit? in an ideal world,well...whatever. i won't even get to that. i just hope that this island will fucking understand that it's okay to be yourself.
anyway,had coffee with sunshine and hashish and the devil and allison and i finally saw numbness and derby outside borders and(to numbness) the only reason why i smoked two ciggies was cos i missed you guys much and was so happy to finally get to talk to you two, after a long while. i mean, we did meet up a couple of times before but never really had a decent conversation and i guess just now was the first after a long time. shoot. soybombs' in aussie. hope he'll have fun.
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